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Dr. Debasmita Dey

The adolescent sitting before me is in a foul mood. Her mother is in tears. She simply cannot get her daughter to make amends with her husband.

It is illogical of her mom to ask that of her, retorts the daughter. Her father is always overtly critical of everything she does. Nobody else has a say in the family except him. It is always his way or the highway. Every time she tries to get him to change his ways, they get into an argument. Pretty soon, it is a shouting match.

The mother is tired of playing referee. She wants her daughter to calm down and concentrate on her career.

The girl wants that too. But apparently, living in the same house with dad is not helping.

She reminds me of a wild stream thrashing against a rock that hinders its journey. She wants to wither it down, and forge her way. But there is a simpler way, I tell her. Simply take a detour. Bypass the rock. It has sedimented over so many years. It is not easy to wear down. Why waste your energy?

Often, in our lives we are so hell bent on challenging old ways that we forget our true purpose. Change is necessary, but you do not need a head on collision each time. You can simply take a detour and let your success prove your point.