Creative, caring, vulnerable, passionate. These are the words that come to your mind when you fondly think of these individuals. But you cannot help calling them unpredictable, impulsive, moody or even unreliable. You would associate them with a colorful life. Parties, art, romance, fashion, recreational drugs – there seems to be an abundance of pleasures in their life. They come across as carefree, confident people who know how to carry themselves well. But beneath the tailored dress and bold tattoo are numerous scars, each from a time when they cut themselves in a fit of rage. Often, after a bitter fight with a loved one. Their lives seem to be an endless collage of short but intense relationship, ending in failed suicide attempts.

So what makes a borderline personality? Family genes, disturbed home atmosphere or abuse as a child are some of the common culprits. They grow up with a deep rooted sense of insecurity. Within each moment of joy is embedded an underlying fear of losing it all. Quite often they feel rejected by the one they love, for no rational reason. And yes, the intensity of all their emotions is way above average. The anger on display every time they feel overlooked is as intense as the admiration of first love. No wonder their relationships are tumultuous and short-lasting. They are caught in an endless pursuit of pleasures to fill up the emptiness within, but in vain, leaving them frustrated and depressed. It manifests as intense mood swings, overdose of recreational drugs or botched suicide attempts.

It is easy to give up on them saying we cannot change a man’s nature, but with patience and willingness, it is not an impossible task. If you identify with this character, or know somebody who does, feel free to ask for expert advice.